Final Chapter

This chapter deals with our imagination and making time for ourselves, to relax and gain that confidence in ourselves that we lose each and every day by tending to all the other things in our lives. I recently have changed my life in a couple of ways.

p191
I will spend 20 mins to a half hour a day doing:
I have always been facinated in woodworking and being able to create different things out of wood, whether it be a clock (which I recently made) or an ashtray, picture frames etc.
I worked on the clock for more than a year, just trying to find time to do it. So, within the past few months I set aside 30-45 mins, to be with me and this clock, doing what I thought was fun for me. It worked. I took a piece of cedar wood and turned it into a beautiful clock. I was amazed that I could do anything like that. I am alone and able to think about everything that goes on in my life while I work on these wood projects. For me, it clears my mind and I feel refreshed and able to get back to, for lack of better terms, the real world.
I was able to find the time by: scheduling 2 classes a semester instead of 4.
4 classes, work and a family was hard to juggle.

Now all of the thinking that goes on while I am working helps me decide how to handle a problem that I would like to solve. Spending time with my brother. My life is set around my family(wife and kids), school and work. I think by changing my habits or behaviors that I should be able to make time to visit my brother at least once a week, if not once every two weeks.
My solutions:
*Set a day of the week for school work
*Find a day that my brother and I can meet for lunch
*Make time on a weekend to visit my brother
*No more extra curricular activities, diving, rafting, etc.
*take a day off from work
*Take one class a semester

I think that finding that one day a week, every two weeks, or a month to eat lunch with my brother may be the best choice. It is time set aside that both of us can work on to achieve our needs of love, power, freedom and fun.

IPOH Chapter 6 Relationships

P 167 Target Practice
I think the person that I have sort of a problem with would be my brother. We live about 45 mins apart and talk to each other, maybe once or twice in a month. What I would like is spending more time with him and his family. I don't want to make excuses but with work, school, my kids and my wife's family, where do I find the time? But that might be the problem now that I think of it, instead of realizing I am the problem I want to blame him. I guess that is what the text has said all along. Blaming someone else to justify why my needs aren't met.

I recently went on a river rafting trip to the New River Gorge, WV for bridge day and along the way we stopped to eat at a well known place in Stanton, Va, the Rowe's Family Restaurant. I was at the register checking out and noticed the lady taking my receipt, she appeared to be stressed (she was about 5'3, late 60's, reminded me of a relative).
Of course she was, I thought, as there was a house full of customers. So I started to make small conversation with her and told her she seemed to be a busy bee. This restaurant is known for its homemade pies. We thought that a Banana Cream Pie for dessert would be perfect. I asked her if we could order one to be made so that we could pick it up on Sunday on our return from WV. I said to her, you may be a busy bee but I have enjoyed the conversation and wished her to have a great day as I smiled and winked. You could actually see relief in her face as she took a moment to say, Thank you young man.
I believe I made her day by just taking notice at her hard work. And would you know the pie was delicious. I recommend the restaurant for any of you passing through Stanton, Va where I64 meets with I81.

Chapter 5 IPOH

Cutting Back

My list of activities to cut down in order to become happy would be minimal. The wheel that we previously had to work on is small, like I said before, I keep a small circle of friends and family close to me. If I had to choose to cut back, it would probably be my hobbies, golf, diving, river rafting, and fishing. That's just a few. I would cut back just to be able to spend more time with family and/or friends.

Action Index I
Where to look to create more love and belonging in my life

1
I have not spent time to myself to get to know myself.
I think I need to spend more time with family that I don't see much.

3
I have joined a so called group, the YMCA.

4
I could have a better working relationship with some of my co-workers

5
I have a wonderful relationship with my preacher, he calls every so often, especially the days I don't show up for church. He has been saint for me and my family.

Action Index II
Where to look to create more power and recognition

1
I believe I can create more power and recognition in a few different areas of where I work.
** Joining a specialty team, such as, SCUBA, Technical Rescue Team, Hazmat
These teams require hours of training and classes. Being a member of either team
would give me power and recognition

Action Index III
Where to look to create more fun and pleasure
2
A list of things that I will try to do:
*make a dinner in the middle of the week
*ride in a hot air balloon
*have a picnic in the living room with my two girls
*be more spontaneous

Action Index IV
Where to look to create more freedom in my life

1
There are decisions that I have made and then put off for another time.

2
I recently made a clock out of an old cedar tree for my father and law.
And after it was finished, I did have a sense of freedom and accomplishment.

3
I think I will grab my wife and kids tonight and we can all dance in the den.

6
For those of you that read this; Having a garden is a relief. You work hard to till the ground, get the soil nice and soft and rich, plant the seeds and watch them grow. I have had a garden for the past three years. It gives me a sense of freedom and power. I also saves us money by not having to buy tomatoes, green beans, squash, butter beans, and especially cucumbers.
You should try it, even if it is a small garden.

IPOH Chapter 4

Target Practice
Part I
Balance
My wheel: Love-daughters, wife, mom, brother, friends,VBS, hobbies
Power-daughters, wife, mom, brother, friends, VBS, hobbies
Freedom-wife, mom, brother, friends,VBS, hobbies (daughters)
Fun-wife, daughters, mom, friends, VBS, hobbies (brother)

I think my life is balanced.
I guess I like to keep a small circle of friends and family. I think the bigger the circle gets, the more unbalanced my life would be. It would be easier to balance a few people on a see-saw rather than 100 people, it would have to be a very big see-saw and that would become complicated.

Part II
Maintenance

In order to continue with freedom in regards to my daughters, well, it's difficult to be independent when I am responsible for them, and in my decision making and choices of what I do. The only way I believe for me to work on this is letting them spend the night with nanny and papa maybe twice a month on weekends. It helps the relationship with my wife and the kids.

In order to continue to have fun with my brother, I need to MAKE time to see him and DO the things we like to do, such as, fish, hunt etc.

IPOH Chapter 3 TAKE AIM

I didn't get what I wanted right away but I was able to obtain what I needed.
I started to finish my classes for Officer Development at the end of last summer, 2007. I was working toward Firefighter Specialist. I was also taking classes at UofR, full-time, so there was anxiety and stress that filled my life. So this is how I handled it:

INEFFECTIVE
*Drinking (not alot, but here and there, of course on my days off)
*Barking at the kids(which in some way made me feel like I had control, when I didn't)
*Staying in our little office at home(actually the kids playroom, but the computer is there)

BAND-AID
*Wanting to just give up
*Making excuses to not take the last class for ODP
*Basically saying to myself it doesn't matter if I get it or not

EFFECTIVE
Think
*Worked on confidence in myself by talking with other specialists

Do
*Developed better time management skills to complete classes, one by one
*Made sure that schoolwork, work, and other classes did not get in the way of the family

No matter how each person deals with his/her ineffective feelings, whether by having a drink or two, making excuses, the fact of the matter is the thing that each of us wants to try to gain will always be staring us in the face. Some of us will obtain our needs or goals and others may just give up. The one thing I have learned as a firefighter is: Never give up.
Now since I have what I wanted my life is back to normal, but then again what is normal?

Target Practice

In Pursuit of Happiness Assignment
Target Practice
Page 42 and 51

Page 42 Noticing Positive Signals

I GOT WHAT I WANTED WHEN

I returned to work from vacation and was going through my mailbox in the office. Much to my surprise there was mail filled to the top of the box. So, after getting a “cup of jo” I sat at the desk and started to go through the many envelopes. One of the letters informed me that I had received my Firefighter Specialist. ( a small monetary promotion, this person is in charge when the officer is away) I had an exhilarating feeling and realized that my need for power had been met.

I was taking my daughter to her eye appointment a couple of days ago when my cell phone rang. On the phone was one of my co-workers asking if I could return to work to staff the fire apparatus. The county was in need of staffing the units as a result of a large disaster in progress. I am not a part of any special teams such as, SCUBA, Technical Rescue or Hazmat, but the fact that he called me first before he chose to contact our other co-workers gave me a feeling of belonging.

Within the past couple of years I started back to school. I was apprehensive at first not knowing what to expect or how things were going to be. My family at home was extremely supportive and backed my decisions. The need for a degree would help me in the promotional qualifications at work. I keep thinking to myself, one day I will be an officer in the fire department. My decision with going back to school has created a feeling of freedom, because I am pursuing what I want to do.

Page 51 Recognizing negative signals
I DID NOT GET WHAT I WANTED WHEN
It was a normal day at work; however, there was a SCUBA Team test that I had to take.
First on the agenda was a written test; then followed by the swimming test. I aced the written and was excited about going to the pool for the swim test. There were about five to six different stations that had to be completed. I was down to the last station and was not able to complete it. My need for power was not met. I was very disappointed and had a terrible hollow feeling in my stomach. I had failed.

A couple of months after Hurricane Isabel made her debut here in Chesterfield County, VA, I was talking with my officer about transfers. (transfers, being assigned to another station) I was happy with my current assignment, but there was a need for someone to be transferred to Station 12. I was not happy about having to move to a much slower station. Again the hollow feeling in my stomach was present, but this time I felt as if I wasn’t meeting my need for belonging, especially with my co-workers that I had been with for three years.

I work with a diverse crew at the fire station, from young, to older and also more experienced. On occasion we have the opportunity to train with the specialty teams. The Technical Rescue Team and SCUBA are both located at my station. When the training opportunity arises I look forward to being a part of this function. On the day that TRT was training on elevated rescues with the Stokes basket to get a patient off the top of a building, I was scheduled to be detailed to work at another station. I felt my need of freedom was not met.

What I have that makes me happy.

What I have that makes my life happier.

A good paying job.
A roof over my head.
Two healthy beautiful girls.
A dependable vehicle to get me to and from work.
My wife who laughs at my stupid jokes.
A few good freinds, that I can call anytime for help or advice.
My dog: that I can talk to when I don't want any response to my conversation.
Good health.
A pay check every two weeks.

My family makes me feel wanted, especially when I come home from work and my wife and girls are excited to see me.
My two girls come to me for advice and explanation on a variety of subjects, this makes me feel needed.
I feel wanted at work when my officer asks me to help with projects concerning the department.

What I have done right.
Deciding to go back to school to earn a degree, after so many years of procrastination.
What this says about me: Manages time well, priorities are in order, concentration skills improved and most of all patience. Trying to juggle the family, work, and school at the age of - - well anyway, has taken a tremendous amount of discipline and sacrifice.

What do I really want? hhmm.
If the genie appeared in front of me now, I would have to ask for several millions of dollars.
A five bedroom house, with a three car garage filled with half of Home Depot, a Mustang GT (two), an unlimited credit card, ( hate to carry cash). And probably the ability to have about three to four more children. To become an officer in the fire department. To finish school with a Bachelor degree

money=P&F *
house=L
children=L
car=F
officer=P
school=P

Something I could add to my life:
There are so many things that I am thankful for, so asking or wanting more would seem to me to be greedy. I would like fulfillment, without wishing my life away.
I have listed many things that I have and want, but they are material things.
I believe that having material things are just that, they fade away like the paint on a chevy, but having the fulfillment in my life that I have completed something, finally would be an achievement. I have so many things happening in my life now with work, school, family and friends.
Does asking for fulfillment mean that it will all pass by in the blink of an eye?

It would meet my need for:
Fulfillment would meet my need of acheivement, acceptance and accomplishment.

In the Pursuit of Happiness

This was a good introduction of a good book, so far. The saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover." should also say, Don't judge a book by its cover, and whatever you do, don't judge it by the pictures either.
I didn't know what to think, but the book has made sense, more than I thought it would.
I read the intro, put the book down, sat at my desk at home, and starting into some deep thinking.
Am I really happy? I thought to myself. Well, the answer is yes. I think, I truly have the American dream; a home, a great job, a beautiful family and a few good friends. I am goal oriented and have accomplished a few within the past two years.

The American society is spoiled, we want too much and want it all at the same time.
As I sit here and type this entry I do realize, I should also be thankful for what I have, I should understand that there are people not as fortunate as I am. Well, I thank God for everything I have, without him I wouldn't be happy. Do I have basic needs? Of course, but I think I will take my piece of the pie and sit down with a nice cup of coffee and enjoy the happiness I have right now. Who needs the whole pie?

Hello to all..

This is the very first time I have every created a Blog. Good luck to everyone, this class should be interesting.